That One Time I Was A Sociopath

Author’s Note:  These events occurred several months ago, but I have just now overcome the pain and mental anguish sufficiently to memorialize them. 

Yesterday on the radio, I heard a whimsical little story about how an alligator had gotten onto the shoulder of Beltway 8 and blocked traffic. What I did NOT know, was that there was also a national story about an alligator in Florida that dragged a two year old boy into the water and ate him.

Before today’s deposition, I had a casual conversation with an attorney I had never met. We were having a cordial conversation when he asked “how about that crazy thing with the alligator?” I naturally assumed he was referencing the whimsical story. I replied with “I know, that was hilaaaaaarious.” His eyes widened with what I can only assume now was disgust.

I pushed the conversation further. “I mean, it inconvenienced a few people, but at the end of the day it’s no harm no foul, right?” I followed up by asking whatever became of it.

“They evacuated everyone”, he said morosely and with the dismissive terseness of someone who sorely wanted to change the subject.

“Evacuated everyone? Damn, that seems like a hell of an overreaction.”  I thought nothing else of our conversation until I returned to my desk after the deposition and saw the story about the boy. I wrote the attorney a frantic e-mail to explain our misunderstanding, hoping to salvage something of his opinion of me. After a few moments, I received my response.  “Sure thing.”